How to Cope with Relationship Stress

Even the most solid relationships will face challenges from time to time. There will come a day when a communication breakdown, financial problems, work or family obligations, or external pressures become a source of relationship stress. However, love and care can play a crucial role in navigating these challenges.

Finding ways to cope with relationship stress​ is essential. Understanding and managing stress in positive ways ensures a healthier bond. Effectively navigating rough spots can strengthen your bond and help your relationship grow. When you have the right mindset, support, and tools in place, you can transform relationship stress into an opportunity. Keep reading to discover ways to cope with relationship stress.

Healthy Ways to Deal with Relationship Stress

When you have healthy ways to deal with stress from your relationship, you can take things to the next level. Working together allows you to establish a mutual understanding both of you can trust. The following tips offer effective ways to cope with relationship stress.

1. Recognize the signs of stress early

The first step in managing relationship stress is knowing what to look for. Be mindful if you or your partner feels irritable, withdrawn, angry, or overwhelmed. Recognizing signs early can prevent minor frustrations from becoming major conflicts.

2. Take a step back to gain perspective

When you’re stressed, taking a moment, stepping back, and gaining perspective is always a good plan. It works for relationship stress, too. Pausing gives you the time to see things more objectively. It lets you think about how you want to react rather than being impulsive and making rash decisions.

3. Prioritize open and honest communication

Open, honest, effective communication is the cornerstone of a healthy relationship. Sharing your feelings, thoughts, and concerns helps keep a relationship strong by providing a strong emotional foundation. Encourage your partner to do the same. Active listening skills — where you focus more on understanding each other than responding — help both partners feel heard, understood, and respected.

4. Establish shared goals for resolving conflicts

A true partnership works together to resolve conflict. You have shared goals and a collaborative mindset. Openly discussing what’s important to both of you (preferably when you’re not stressed) helps ensure you can work toward a common outcome and find solutions. 

5. Practice self-care to recharge emotionally

Stress can suck all your emotional reserves, making it challenging to support your partner or your relationship. It does more than just wear you down mentally, though. Chronic stress impacts all the body systems, from musculoskeletal to respiratory to cardiovascular and more. 

Regular self-care is critical when dealing with relationship stress. Taking care of yourself is the only way to reclaim the energy you need to focus on your relationship. You can exercise, engage in your favorite hobbies, use relaxation methods to calm your mind, or do anything that recharges and refills your energy and spirit so you can bring your best self to your relationship.

6. Focus on the positive aspects of the relationship

When you’re stressed, it’s easy to focus on the negatives and lose sight of anything that’s right in your world (or your relationship). The next time you’re anxious about your relationship or partner, take some time to identify and appreciate its strengths. 

Focus on the positive aspects of your relationship that you’re grateful for. Gratitude has been proven in multiple studies to reduce stress levels, improve anxiety, and lower depression rates, enhancing your overall mental health. Try shifting your perspective to remember why you’re committed to each other. 

7. Seek professional guidance if needed

Navigating relationship stress might be too much to handle on your own. It’s OK if you need professional help. Couples therapy can offer you valuable tools for managing stress and improving communication. 

“There is no right or wrong time to consider looking for couples’ counseling. It’s when the two individuals feel like it will benefit them. Often there is a mindset it is to ‘fix’ a situation, but it can also be to help enhance the relationship. Getting an objective perspective of what is going on in a relationship helps to consider aspects that may not have been apparent to the couple. If there are issues, it helps to work through it with someone who is trained to help.”

– Talkspace therapist Minkyung Chung, MS, LMHC

In some cases, individual therapy might also be beneficial. Working with a therapist on your own can help you determine your role in the situation. 

8. Set realistic expectations

Unhealthy or unrealistic expectations are a surefire way to set your relationship up for disappointment and stress. Life is a mix of imperfections and growth. Both partners need to acknowledge there’s no such thing as “perfect.” Accept each other’s shortcomings and celebrate your imperfections. If you’re working toward goals, make sure they’re achievable and something you both agree on. 

9. Spend intentional time together

Quality interactions are essential for maintaining a connection with your partner. Plan date nights, find a shared hobby, or simply take a walk together — prioritizing intentional one-on-one time will help with intimacy so you aren’t as stressed.

10. Tackle stress as a team

Taking on stressful relationship challenges as a team can transform how you navigate tough times. By approaching stress together rather than as opponents, you strengthen trust and foster a deeper sense of connection, making your relationship more resilient and united. It shifts the focus from ‘you vs. me’ to ‘us vs. the problem,’ reminding you both that you’re on the same side, working toward solutions and supporting one another through whatever life throws your way.

“Teamwork makes the dream work. When we can communicate what is the stressor in the relationship and work through it together, it strengthens the relationship but also shows that problem solving can be a growing experience within the relationship. It also continues the path of learning what it means to be in a relationship that struggles from time to time. There’s a sense of accomplishment when both people come out the other end having tackled the stressors together.”

– Talkspace therapist Minkyung Chung, MS, LMHC

Unhealthy Ways to Deal with Relationship Stress: What Not to Do

How you and your partner respond to stressors can make or break you. It can either strengthen your bond or cause more conflict. It’s not enough to just learn how to deal with stress in positive ways, though. You should also be aware of unhealthy ways to cope with relationship stress. This helps you avoid developing patterns that can harm your relationship. Here are some examples of what not to do when dealing with relationship stress.

Avoid ignoring the problem

You can’t pretend something away in your relationship. If you’re in a tumultuous relationship, avoiding issues and stress often leads to more resentment and frustration. Open conversation prevents relationship discord. 

Don’t lash out in anger

Anger is rarely a productive response. It can be appropriate sometimes, but when you’re stressed, impulsively expressing anger in a relationship will do more damage than good. Depending on the situation, it can be natural to feel frustrated or upset, but finding thoughtful, calm constructive ways to express yourself will almost always yield better results.

Resist the urge to withdraw completely

For some people, withdrawing is an instinctual response to stress. In a relationship, the urge to pull back can leave your partner feeling isolated, hurt, and abandoned. Open communication is the better route, even if it’s scary and hard. If you’re feeling lonely in a relationship, it can be a sign that you need to reconnect with your partner or seek outside support to restore emotional balance.

Avoid relying on unhealthy coping mechanisms

The desire to self-medicate or use other unhealthy coping tools for stress relief can be tempting. However, turning to substances, excessive screen time, binge-watching shows, or ignoring other responsibilities is only a temporary distraction from stress in your relationship. Avoidance will ultimately compound and add to your stress.

“When stress gets the best of us, we tend to rely on strategies that protect us and make us feel better. More often than not, these can be poor coping mechanisms but through proper communication and help it’s possible to work through them and find healthier ways to work through stressors. It won’t be easy but finding the process and coping mechanisms together will allow for us to have healthier and sustainable relationships.”

– Talkspace therapist Minkyung Chung, MS, LMHC

Moving Toward a Healthier, Happier Relationship

Relationships can be challenging, and when stress is involved, they can be even more challenging. Reframing stress as an opportunity to grow and bond is a good approach. When you practice healthy ways to deal with stress from relationships, you and your partner can overcome anything. Couples often emerge stronger than ever by connecting and showing each other compassion. 

If you’re looking for relationship advice​, support, or guidance in dealing with stress in your relationship, consider seeking therapy. Online therapy from Talkspace makes getting help easy and convenient. 

Reach out to Talkspace today to learn more about online couples therapy that will help you and your partner learn effective ways to cope with relationship stress​. Reach out to Talkspace today to learn how online couples therapy can help you and your partner learn effective ways to cope with relationship stress​.